Wayne's PSA, and Terrible Albums That Go Platinum

If you have any worth at all, you've probably seen Wayne's 29-minute PSA by now. If not, get educated below, and I'll wait.

Things we have learned? Wayne likes to ramble. Wayne isn't much of a skateboarder. Wayne's friend knows little to nothing about skateboarding. Wayne is a machine. Wayne is the Barack Obama of Bugatti. 

And many other things you didn't know, but now do.

Opinion has been very split on this video, but I'd like to point out I am in firm opposition to the camp trumping it up as some very deep, and incredible wisdom.

Is it interesting? Certainly. Any time we get a chance to explore the thought process of Mr. Carter (South), it is an interesting experience. It speaks a lot to why his music is the way it is. In fact, his music seems to just be a continuation of his thought process. Wayne thinks (and rambles) in non-sequiturs, scat jokes and incredibly poignant statements followed by shudder-inducing ignorance.

There are many examples of this throughout. There's the very strange sequence of him discussing his favorite, codeine enhanced drink. Wayne cleverly draws out your disbelief that he's really brash enough to lecture us on syrup while holding a cup of the stuff, only to reveal his double cup contains only iced tea. Now if someone in PR had got a hold of this video before it got online, they may have edited out the rest of what he says on the topic. Because after being damn near inspiring, Wayne holly wrecks the effect by telling you to keep drinking. And drink a lot of it. He sees no problem in this line of thought; he sees no hypocrisy. It's how he can spit a verse like the third one on Nas and Damian Marley's "My Generation", and release the "Swag Surfing" remix within seven months of each other. (Both songs are dope, but I digest digress dilly-dally).

He brags about having a Bugatti, the first African-American [long, long pause, considers legitimacy of statement, adds] rapper to ever have one. He brags that the people at the dealership called him the Barack Obama of Bugatti. (He doesn't mention that these people like selling million dollar cars, and will happily suck the dick of a customer hand out a brojob, to ensure customer retention.) He also brags that he isn't bragging. And that's swag.

Wayne skateboards for us, showing us that he isn't very good. And from a guy who makes entire albums full of couplets about why he's better than you, it's kinda cool to hear/see. It's around this part (which may or may not be after the mind-melting bit about being a "chief Blood") that Wayne's message is pretty much stated. He wants you to be yourself, be proud of what you do, and whatever you do, work hard at it. It is a very solid message, a tasty morsel covered in talk about pistol-toting kids skateboarding, Steve Jobs and driving to the studio even though you have studio at your house.

That is the the mind of Wayne. It is a strange, and terrifying place, and not just because it's where Tha Carter IV was conceived.

Tha Carter IV is essentially two songs, if we exclude "John" (because it's Ross' anyways) and "Intro/Interlude/Outro" (because all of those guys should have known better). It is "6 Foot 7 Foot" and "How to Love". These are the opposite ends of the Wayne Spectrum©, and the rest of the album exists in between. The former finds Wayne doing what Wayne does best; basically, he is spitting like it was 2007. Like he was still chasing the crown. He bounces and crashes all over the beat, making an awesome mixtape song that just happened to be his album's lead single. This is the genius rambler, from another planet, seen in the PSA, a man that can't stay on topic. On the other end, we have "How to Love", a well-written, honest song that actually means something emotionally, to both Wayne and his fans. It's from his mature side, where Wayne's comments about believing in yourself, and his love for his children, originate. But as I said before, those two are the highs, and everything else falls in between.

There's gun-talk followed by half-cooked lines that are meant to be considered wise, and loads of strange, nonsensical couplets spoken as if they were anywhere near emotionally resonant as "How to Love" (see "So Special" and "Nightmares of the Bottom"). The only place it truly works is on "She Will", but that record benefits from a (very shallow) banger of a chorus from Drake, and a great beat.

But hey, Wayne sold a milli. Again. And he did it in today's marketplace, where fucking Lady Gaga had to give away albums for 99 cents just to do big numbers and feel really, really popular. So Wayne stays winning, and the fans (me included) stay waiting for the next No Ceilings.

For a guy who goes in the studio and cuts records until Cortez tells him they have enough for an album, it makes a lot of sense that the album and the PSA would seem like odd, new media companions, to be digested and analyzed together. He's not making albums, so much as he's putting his thoughts down on wax. It's exactly what Wayne has been doing since he went after the title of "Greatest Rapper Alive". What else would a chief Blood do?

Leave a comment in the comment section below. Any discussion is appreciated. Also check out my other work under the "SeriouslyTS" tab at the top.