#DRAKEWEEK Using Hindsight to Unfairly Slander Pitchfork's So Far Gone Review

Pitchfork is a modern day cultural landmark, a fucking internet titan, so powerful and popular that its influence is felt outside of the internet. Of course, along with this popularity, has come its fair share of infamy. It's been a lightning rod for criticism over the years, for the writing of its reviews, its hip-hop content, hipster attitude, etc. I often enjoy reading the reviews, to be honest, but please don't crucify me. I only read the hip-hop ones, and though I don't always agree with them and I'm often frustrated by them, it's an interesting perspective. It gives you a look at the culture and music you love through the Ray-Ban shaded eyes of the hipster populace. In this way, it's worth reading.

But still, sometimes their rap reviews rub me the wrong way. Which is why, I'll be using the luxury of hindsight to look back at their review of So Far Gone, and unfairly slander them in honor of #DRAKEWEEK. Under the jump, we continue.


If you want to check out the entire review (from 2009), do so here. If that's not your cup of tea, or you consider being on Pitchfork a major sin, don't sweat it. I'll be quoting the pertinent segments, and offering my insights, below. Naturally, I'm aided by the threeish years between that review, and now. A lot's changed since this was penned. Drake got "rich off a mixtape". Platinum plaques started stacking up. The record for most Hip-Hop #1's became his. Fuck, in the short time between his release of So Far Gone and now, he's become one of the biggest stars in the world. Sometimes, it's fun to look back on the old days. Let the slander commence.

"Relative unknown creates mixtape with a few friends and uploads it to the Internet, and then, within a few months, he's maybe/possibly dating Rihanna and fielding seven-figure offers from broke major labels."

Mmmm. This is quite accurate. Definitely dating Rihanna, though.

"The relative unknown in question was a star on the Canadian teeny-drama 'Degrassi: The Next Generation.'"

Do you remember when that was a major part of the story? All that shit is sorta starting to fade away now. Weird.

"It also contains the one and only slick punchline Drake offers on the whole hour-plus mixtape: 'When my album drops, bitches'll buy it for the picture/ And niggas'll buy it, too, and claim they got it for they sister.''

Pffffft. Eat a dick. "This lost boy got fly without Peter Pan",  "Or they'll be shots on TMZ of me giving her mouth-to-mouth", "They just lose to love, those are tennis games, lady", "Coolest kid out, word to Chuck Inglish", or"Have you counting money, going duffel-bag crazy, sipping on Pink Floyd and puffing Wayne Brady" beg to differ. And those are just some of the ones that jump to mind. What's posted isn't really a punchline punchline, so I don't even feel bad offering up another exhibit in this case, which just so happens to be one of my favorite lines on the tape: "Lost some of my hottest verses down in Cabo, so if you find a Blackberry with the side scroll, sell that mothafucka to any rapper that I know".

"See, Drake's not a great rapper. His delivery manages to convey confidence at pretty much all times, but it's still halting and awkward."

I think he's come along way, certainly, but I strongly disagree with this. There are some questionable moments on the tape certainly, but this is just some bullshit snobbish posturing on Pitchfork's part.

"Half the time, his lines barely even make sense: 'I never get attracted to fans/ Cuz an eager beaver could be the collapse of a dam.'" 

You motherfuckers aren't from Canada, you can't understand a line about beavers. This makes perfect sense.

"In his four appearances on the tape, Lil Wayne just annihilates Drake."

Just not true. Not even close to true. And then there's this...

"This wouldn't be news, except we're talking about circa-2009 syrup-fried Wayne here, and it's rarer and rarer that he gets the better of anyone on a song."

This is classic internet thinking. If every writer hypes Wayne up for destroying people on their own song, eventually there is going to be the backlash, and suddenly he's getting served by everybody. It's action/reaction, or if you want a great current example, it's Lana Del Rey-performance-backlash/backlash-against-the-backlash. Wayne can be very frustrating, but denying he can still spit out-of-this-world is plain stupid. Fuck, to re-iterate the point, No Ceilings dropped four months later.

"Drake isn't just a post-Kanye artist; he's a post-808s and Heartbreak artist, possibly the first. On that album, Kanye drifted lazily from rapping to singing over a bed of rippling lush-but-sparse electro that still gets better every time I hear it. Drake does much the same thing on So Far Gone. He's a singer/rapper in the Missy Elliott mode, and he even pays Missy tribute by swiping the beat from her "Friendly Skies" for "Bria's Interlude". When he swings from rapping to buttery teen-idol singing, it feels organic and effortless, like he's just doing whatever makes the most sense at any given moment."

"Musically, Drake favors a very specific sort of sugary but spacious electro-soul; nearly every track makes heavy use of organ sustain and sparse heartbeat drums. He uses tracks from Swede-pop types like Lykke Li and Peter Bjorn and John, the sort of thing that seems forced and gimmicky when most rappers do it. In Drake's hands, though, those songs make sense in close proximity to, say, Jay-Z's "Ignorant Shit" or Kanye's "Say You Will". And it helps that he actually interacts with his source material. With "Little Bit", Drake doesn't simply rap over Lykke Li's original. Instead, he structures it like a duet, he and Lykke slowly circling each other and admitting their crushed-out feelings."

I'm not a hater. I'm fair. This is good stuff.

"'My mother embarrassed to pull my Phantom out, so I park about five houses down.' You learn he has a Phantom, and you also learn that it's the source of some family strife that doesn't even make sense."

In hindsight, from what we've learned about Drizzy's life, this makes sense. This was back in the faking-it-til-you-make-it days, when he was renting Phantoms and was completely broke. Good thing Unc had deep pockets and 40 doesn't have homicidal tendencies.

"And now that Drake is really, truly famous, he should really have some shit to complain about."

And just like that, Pitchfork predicts Thank Me Later. Impressive.

That's that. The internet holiday that is #DRAKEWEEK pushes onward. I hope you've enjoyed yourself thus far.

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